Kayla + Brendan

"Motherhood is a bond you can't truly imagine until that moment you hold your child for the first time. It's indescribable. It was something that I had wanted to experience so very much and for the years we spent trying to get Brendan here. I was so unsure if it was in the cards for me. I can't describe the moment of tears we shared when after 5 years when we finally found out I was pregnant. And that moment was only surpassed when I finally had him in my arms. It's the most beautiful thing, he is the most beautiful thing. As I write this I am sitting on the floor giggling at his antics this morning with the facial expressions like his father and his dad's like me. He's just a character! I'm so grateful Christ has given me the opportunity to be his mother. 

I would tell other mothers or about to become mothers, your doing great and I understand. So many people would tell me, "Well, you just don't even know yet" or "Oh you've got it so good". Those thing are frustrating because all of us as a collective group of mothers know! We have good days and we have bad days and supporting each other in our victories and struggles is so important! 

The biggest struggle... Having to watch Winnie the Pooh 87 time a day, haha! Truly the hardest part was after coming home from my C-Section and being concerned that somehow it would hinder me from taking care of him. It made me so nervous because I didn't want to make a mistake. But I learned that as a parent I will never be perfect and all that I could do in those first few weeks was enough.

One of my favorite memories from the past 9 months has been learning how much he loved my fathers voice. In the 80s my dad made an actual album with some friends. It's very 80s! But his voice is so wonderful. On the way home from the hospital Brendan was crying so we randomly pressed play on what was in the CD player in the car and it was my father singing, "I'll Fly Away." It instantly calmed him and even now when Brendan is upset we put it on #4 and repeat. The only thing better than the CD for Brendan is the live version, or him singing Winnie the Pooh, that works too :)" - Kayla, mama of Brendan