Baby Sullivan

"The more I think about the ways I've changed since becoming Sullivan's mom, the more I understand what it really means to give myself to someone unconditionally. It's incredibly disorienting (and humbling) to have someone be 100% dependent on you. I used to think that feeling would be so restricting, but it's actually the opposite. Somehow, this crazy journey feels exhilarating and deeply fulfilling in ways I didn't understand before going through it. 

Don't get me wrong. It's hard - really, really hard. I've had the unique experience of becoming a mom while working as a co-founder at a growing startup. I won't pretend for one second that I have it all together. Between the sleep deprivation and hours spent pumping, I'm constantly worried people will think that I don't work as hard as I used to (even though I'm actually working 10x harder). I'm trying to cut myself some slack, but I want so badly to feel like Superwoman conquering every task with grace and ease. Instead, I'm constantly running late to meetings, drenching myself in dry shampoo, and questioning if I've passed that "acceptable level" of caffeine intake. 

These past four months have shown me that you can have it all, just not all at the same time. There are times where my business gets more attention than my daughter and vice versa. In the end, I'm trusting it will all balance out. I suppose this mindset is just a shift in perception of what I thought "balance" would look like.

My advice to working moms is to focus on the positives and strive to make the time you have with your little one as dedicated and fully focused as possible (aka phone free). It's tough to not fixate on how little time you have or how many unread emails you'll still have to answer after the babe goes to bed. When I stopped feeling guilty and started making a conscious effort to give thanks for what I had, my attitude as a working mother shifted. 

In the end, I'm excited to teach Sullivan what it looks like to work hard, be strong, and follow her passions. I want to show here that women can build anything they want, and becoming a mother shouldn't slow them down. Interestingly enough, motherhood has made everything I'm doing at work that much more meaningful.

Just give yourself some grace. Take it one day at a time. And trust that when you care about something so deeply, it all balances out." Carly, mama of Sullivan